Richmond ‘Immortal’ Jack Dyer is regarded as the greatest Tiger of all time due to his mighty on-field deeds throughout the 1930s and 1940s. But to a generation of Yellow and Black barrackers who never had the privilege to see ‘Captain Blood’ play, he is fondly remembered for his media work with Channel Seven, 3KZ and ‘The Truth’ newspaper. Jack’s ability to consistently mangle the English language, as well as tell tall tales, was hilarious. And he had a commentary style that was truly unique. Dyerisms were a wonderful part of the football landscape in the day. Here is a fine sample for you to savour . . .
“He keeps getting where the ball ‘aint.”
“I won’t say anything in case I say something.”
“Bartlett’s older than he’s ever been before.”
“The only way to tackle Justin Madden is . . . I don’t know.”
“Henshaw passes the ball to Kelly and Kelly gives a Henshaw to Glendinning.”
“That’s the beauty of being small – your hands are close to your feet.”
“There weren’t too many best mans on the ground.”
“He’s tuckled strongly by Tack.”
“He sets himself for a high mark. Actually, that was a low high mark.”
“He’s put the game beyond result.”
“Bamblett made a great debut last week, and an even better one today.”
“Mark Lee’s long arms reaching up like giant testicles.”
On the long-running Sunday television show World of Sport (Channel 7), Jack declared that Fitzroy had “copulated to the opposition”.
Another time on World of Sport, when asked for a comment about Carlton great Bob Chitty, who had died a few days earlier, Jack replied: “Yeah, bit of bad luck for Bob . . .”
Early in Carlton star Peter Bosustow’s league career, Jack described him as “a good, ordinary footballer”.
During his coaching career at Richmond, Jack once instructed his players in a training session to “pair off in threes”.
He once said that it was a big honour for him to have been driven around the MCG before a game in a “MOTORARCADE”!
He claimed that he’d flown so high for a mark one day, just before three-quarter time, that the trainers had to throw the oranges up to him at the last break.
He also claimed that he had a shot for goal one day from such a tight angle that the ball got stuck between the posts.
Another Jack claim was that he kicked the ball so hard during a game that it split, with the leather casing going through the goals, the bladder through the point posts, and the team was awarded seven points instead of six!
He said one holiday destination he’s always wanted to visit was the “French RIVERINA”.
He called the group of people responsible for introducing drugs, gambling and crimes into Australia as the “MAFFRA”.
When told of the change to the league’s finals system in 1972, Jack commented: “Things won’t be the same now there are five teams in the four.”
He once said that he hated Collingwood so much, he couldn’t even watch black and white TV.
Jack had an uncanny ability to broadcast a game of football for five minutes without actually mentioning a player’s name. For example . . . “The big bloke goes up, taps the ball down to the little bloke, who tries to break his way through the pack, but oh, if you don’t mind umpire, please. They’ve come from everywhere . . . It’s stacks on the mill, but the umpire says no, I’ll have this one”.
